Savvy is not a four letter word

Savvy: (sav-vy (savee) -verb: to know; understand. (savvy. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved April 04, 2011, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/savvy) Having and using common sense and intelligence.  

Parent: [pair-uh nt,] –noun 1.  a father or a mother. 2. a protector or guardian.
( parent. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved April 04, 2011, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/parent)

Being a “savvy parent” is our duty as parents.  It means that we are aware enough of the environment in which we live both locally, regionally and globally, and that we are making choices that benefit our kids and hopefully other children as well.  It means that we are acting as proper and fierce advocates for the rights of our children to be duly and properly educated and well taken care of especially during the time of their lives where they are really not able to legally or emotionally advocate for themselves.  All parents must do this, it is part of our job description, it is sad to think that someone may use this against parents who want to obtain what they feel is the best for their children. A savvy parent is not someone with suitcases of money who will pay anything to send their child to an elite, private, upper-crust pre-school--that is a rich parent.   A savvy parent is someone who will fight for their child’s right to enroll in a spectacular public or not-for-profit preschool that they might not be zoned for or scrape up enough money and go without cable for a year so their child can be a part of a school they otherwise cannot afford. A savvy parent will collect the information they need to make these decisions and upon doing so find out more information they never knew they needed to know and will probably share that with some of their friends.   I was at the recent CEC (Community Education council) for District 31 meeting (31 encompasses the entire general department of education schools on Staten Island) to support the Staten Island Green Charter School for Environmental Discovery, and boy was I ever riled up by what one person who seemingly is advocating for children and public schools as a whole had said.  She basically came out and said that savvy parents need to be condemned for wanting a choice for their children.  That by being a savvy parent, one is being opportunistic, elitist, and well, biased. 

The CEC 31’s have in effect replaced what used to be known as Community School Boards, every district has one and its members are all volunteers and many from the public education sector. Some of their responsibilities include: Promoting the success of the DOE Educational standards and objectives; Act in cooperation with School Leadership Teams; Consult with the Chancellor and the Panel on Educational Policy when it pertains to their specific district; Evaluate the impact on student learning by the district’s Schools and other educational programs and; Designate zoning lines.  (http://www.cec31.org/index.html) They are also an open forum of sorts to have a public say in what educational policies and issues may be on the brink of passing and up for discussion.  I went there, with some other parents, to support a school that holds as its mission the opportunity for all learning styles to be supported.  Through the differentiated learning that the school is proposing, children who need a little extra help may be able to get it here, and not be overlooked or overworked at a traditional public school.  Charter schools are publicly funded and need to hold a lottery.  

The argument that this woman, a longtime public school employee and lifelong educator, held was that, a certain portion of our society will not be savvy enough to access something called the internet and not know what their rights are as parents when it comes to accessing schools like this one is proposing to be.  I say, this woman really needs to understand that in the world in which she once came from, when her children were small and just starting out going to school, that might have been the case, but this is such a different world.  Most parents are savvy.  Case in point two other women at the meeting, both who are educators and one of whom spoke out against the charter school model, actually manipulated the public school system to get her daughter transferred to what she deemed was a better school.  They both have young children and are actively playing a role in the education of their children.  All parents for whom education plays a big part in their child’s life are doing this.  And those parent’s do not equal 2.  Those parents are a million strong.  Even more.  There is no more the excuse of, “Oh, I just didn’t know that.”  They look on the internet, talk to one another, get daily emails sent to them by the DOE, savvyparent.com, greatschools.com, other parents.  There is so much access to information that it sometimes may be hard to weed through, but it is there.  If this is a priority for their children, if it is something they think is important, then they will find out what they need to do.  Sure it is time consuming, sure it is annoying, but they will be savvy by the end of it and their kids will be the better for it.  Do not talk down to me or accuse me of trying to get something over on the system or taking something away from another child because I am a savvy parent, because guess what, you were too. 

This week's lesson in how to become a bad parent. You must:

1. Yell at your child when she doesn't listen to you, although you have repeatedly, from a chair, clearly not motivated, while sending texts and laughing at emails, asked her if she wanted to go get Ham and cheese because you are hungry.

2. Leave that child in the locked car, with the windows up and the heat on, alone, parked half in the street and half on the sidewalk.

3. Run in to interrupt your other child's physical therapy session while your younger child is waiting locked in the car, with the windows up and the heat on, alone...

and- 4 (my favorite)
Have the older child that you plucked from Physcial Therapy early walk out into the rain and cold with their pants scrunched all the way up and only one foot in her boot.

But at least you are all wearing matching jackets and your nails are done.

It's Naked Time!

Ah, Naked Time.  The time of day when my four year old son, who is proudly unaware that being naked is frowned upon in certain, shall we say, uptight circles of our society, streaks across the floor gleefully yelling, “Catch Me!  I’m Naked BOY!” 

I don’t have a problem with him doing this.  I am of the mind that a four year old is just expressing his or her innate need to declare themselves.  If this means exposing one’s own privates in moderately mixed company, so be it. 

My parents and sister disagree.  The other day I was over their house (which I am often) and Teddy ran into the kitchen naked.  My sister said in a tone of voice that clearly dripped with distaste, “Teddy that is inappropriate now, you are too old to run around naked.  Go put some clothes on.” My parents chimed in, he ignored her and I replied, “Great way to help build his positive body image!”

For the record, Teddy only streaks before or after bath time, and when he is getting changed.  He doesn’t walk around the block naked and rarely does it when company is over.  However, he loves it.  He loves feeling the breeze on his preschool butt.  And truthfully I really don’t mind, neither does my husband.  And by “Moderately Mixed Company” I mean Family members and the odd close friend or two, not at the park or on the beach.

While our self image is ever evolving based on the information about ourselves that we receive and accept over the years, there are certain ideas that kids should grow up with to ensure that most of what they think of themselves is positive.  This creates the opportunity not only to love oneself, but not be devastated when they find themselves inevitably facing their limitations.    Parents, caregivers, teachers and close family members all aid in either the promotion or destruction of that self esteem.  And while it is possible, with much help, therapy and persuasion to change an already bruised ego, puberty will screw them up so badly that not only will they have that to contend with, but the horrible self image they have constructed because their loved and trusted caregiver cannot understand what it means to be that uninhibited. 

Many of the things adult do and say to our children, in the name of safety or just to enforce rules are built around a preconceived notion that they have created for themselves with the information they were given.  I am not saying most of it is wrong, but I am suggesting that while a child is scolded in the guise of being taught a lesson, or restricted in the name of safety, it is necessary to ask ourselves if our gut reaction is a condition of what we were scolded for or restricted from when we were kids. 

Another relevant question is why do we feel so uncomfortable about it?  Is it from a fear that has been implanted in our psyche or do we truly feel that it may be inappropriate for a four year old to say, run around the background on a beautiful summer day completely naked for 4 minutes before his mother gets him to come over to her so she can put his bathing suit on while no one but his aunt and grandmother are around to witness it.   

He may be safe with clothes on but at what cost?

Welcome to Teach-R-Mom--Who am I and why should you care?

I am a teacher. I am a mom.  As a mom, I am always teaching my son (and believe it or not, he is absolutely teaching me).  The thing I didn't expect however, was that now, when I teach, I use my the mom part of my brain and am really able to see the act of education not only through the educator's point of view but through a mom's point of view.  I guess I naively thought that I would be able to distance myself from that part of myself while I was teaching but, not only am I not able to do that, I don't want to.  I think I am a better teacher, especially for the preschoolers I teach, because I am a mom.  During parent-teacher meetings at the Nursery School I taught at, I would glibly tell the parents of my students, "I am not a mom, so I cannot say what I would do if I was in your place, but..." and then add in some tree-ripened piece of pedagogical wisdom. 

And for the most part, I would have been on the right track--educationally speaking, but it was how I said it that needed to be tweaked a little.  I see that now.  But then I also see the flaws in the educational system more keenly.  I know too much about the goings on inside a school.  I know what needs or should be happening, from the parent's perspective, the teacher's perspective and the director's perspective.  Mix this with an overinflated Super-teacher complex, and a proclivity to butt in and you have me.  Well meaning, well educated and willing to share what I know.

As my son gets older, and more choices for his education need to be made, I am aware of two things.  I am an educational snob, and my instincts are usually right on. 

Before I write any further, I want to tell you, dear reader, that I usually am modest, but you didn't come here to read a blog written by someone without any expertise.  I want to share with you what I know to help you make better decisions about educating your child, whether on Staten Island, in Brooklyn or in Botswana.  Actually I take that back, probably not Botswana, but Seattle maybe.  I will impart what I know using humor and insight.  I am very interested in the field of education, especially early childhood and special education.  I think about it often and to the possible annoyance of the parents in my son's classes, friends and acquaintances I talk about it often as well.

My basic philosophy of how to educate a child (or anyone for that matter) is identifying the key to how they learn and making it meaningful to them.  I identify with Howard Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences and use it to teach my students in the way that they will learn best.  The key is to get that child to love school, but a child who likes to use his hands to learn will not do well in a classroom that doesn't allow touching as an option.  A child who needs to see how something is done before internalizing a lesson will not do well in a class where rote memorization is the main instructional tool. 

I hope to write a post at least 4 times a week.  Let's see how that goes shall we!  Until then, remember the key to your child's love of anything lies with you.  If you are psyched about learning and reading they will be too